With only a week to go until a return to Rashi for my week of professional development, and only two weeks left until the students return and we are flung into the ruckus of yet another school year, I find myself musing on the summer and its events. There were moments during which my vacation seemed interminably long, but on the cusp of its termination I find myself longing for just a few more weeks. Not that I'm not looking forward to my return to work and the routine that it will bring, but I just am so in love with my daughter and I find the prospect of leaving her once again to be a bittersweet proposition. I suppose this is in many ways the crux and paradox of motherhood; to be pulled simultaneously in divergent directions, to both love and resent each role I play throughout the day, is one more piece of the puzzle that makes up my intrapersonal life and demands that I learn to be more generous with myself and adjust to nuances of identity. The key is to try and stay focused on the moment and to just BE instead of worrying about what comes next.
Ethan has started his long-term treatment protocol, which involves thrice-weekly injections of an immune-modulating drug called Rebif that will hopefully minimize risks of future relapses. We were taught how to administer these injections last week, and though it was difficult in many ways (I'm not sure which stings more: the dose of medication or the dose of reality), Ethan has remained impressively calm, confident, and flexible as he learns to live with his illness. Typical! He has lovingly allowed me to assume some of his care, which has enabled me to experience vicariously the thrill all new doctors and nurses must feel when participating in events they know will help to heal their patients. I also admit that the opportunity to stab Ethan with a needle a few times a week helps to alleviate the pressure of any and all marital spats we may be enduring (just kidding), though I've been assured the prick is relatively painless.
In Maddy news, we are experiencing much more of the same, though it is no less delightful. Her current tooth count is still at two, and she continues to enjoy a varied diet of finger foods, her favorite of which seem to be avocado, sweet peas, diced string cheese, and olives. During meal breaks this weekend on our road trip to and from Saugerties, New York (we spent a few days with our friends Dave and Dena, who we absolutely adore) we received quite a few looks of surprise from folks who were immensely impressed with Maddy's sophisticated palate; as they sat munching on their fries and burgers, she sat contentedly in a McDonald's bib, stuffing green olives, raspberries, and curried veggies into that cute little mouth. She also is doing lots of babbling, shrieking, and laughing. She crawls and cruises like a pro, and even can stand independently for bouts of up to a minute. She also, blessedly, is now sleeping through the night. We are usually guaranteed about 10.5-11 hours of uninterrupted rest from her, which has made our lives much happier as we recover from the months of sleep deprivation. I also have learned the important lesson that all things come in due time; in spite of the torment I experienced being up at all hours and then having to work the next day, and particularly from our struggles with whether to "Ferberize" or not (we ultimately chose "not"), she slept through the night when the time was right for her. Now that we've crossed that bridge, I'll be a little more sure the next time around (whether it be for her upcoming developmental milestones or that of our future children) that babies work things out when they're ready. Maddy is quickly approaching her first birthday, and we are starting to make our preparation to celebrate properly. I'm a sucker for birthdays, and whether she'll remember this one or not, the day will be one for the books!
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